it's late

Well, it's 4am as I type this and I have a test in 4 hours, which I haven't studied for. I wanted to type this last night when I felt led to but I was very tired and decided sleep was better for me. Problem is now I don't remember exactly what I wanted to blog about. Then again, no one follows/reads my blog anyway so who the hell cares?! Seems the people that do care about me just get farther and farther away (3,000 miles is far, right?). I sit here, 5 days til my birthday and no plans. Each of my past 2 birthday parties I planned myself; no one planned one for me, suggested one or surprised me with one. I hate when my birthday comes around because it shows just how much people really care about me. To think I love people so easily and then turn around and be treated like this. Most everyone gives me lip service but very few seem to truly care. Guess I'm getting a small taste of how Yahweh must feel about us humans (Note: I am in no way equalizing or comparing myself with God. Just trying to make a point). Not that I do things for others just so that I get something in return; I always think of others before myself.

I just wish that just once someone would do something for me. Every time I start to think about this my heart breaks and I just want to burst into tears. I'm gonna cry myself to sleep hoping that someday someone (read: "female") will care about me more than anyone else. I pray it'd be soon but I don't expect anything anymore. I want things to happen; they don't happen the way I hope. I make things happen; they still don't go how I planned for them to go. I plan things to happen; changing minds change those plans. I hate this feeling of loneliness that pervades my every thought. Someone please make it go away!!!

My Dream Band

I was talking with a friend in the cafe today and we got to talking about musical instruments. I had told him that I had just bid on a melodica on eBay. I really want to play an instrument and this seems like something that I can do. This is one of my favorite videos that showcases the awesomeness of the melodica and the ukulele:



It got me to thinking about something. If I put together a band, these would be the different instruments that would be used in all or some of the songs:

12-string guitar
bass
drums
trumpet
piano
ukulele
soprano melodica
bag pipes


So what do you guys think? Anybody wanna be in my band?

MY fantasy football team

So we had our fantasy football draft like last week and I'm excited because the season starts tonight with Giants vs. Redskins. That's like.....awesome timing. So, our league uses 1 QB and mine is a pretty strong veteran player. Here's how it looks:

QB- Kurt Warner
RB- Frank Gore
RB- Marshawn Lynch
WR- Larry Fitzgerald
WR- T.J. Houshmandzadeh
W/T- Isaac Bruce
TE- Kellen Winslow
K- Nick Folk
D- Mike Vrabel
D- Oshiomogho Atogwe
DB- Terrence McGee
DB- Bob Sanders
DL- Thomas Howard
DL- D.J. Williams
Bench- Derek Anderson QB
Bench- Julius Jones RB
Bench- Justin Fargas RB
Bench- L.J. Smith TE
Bench- Roddy White WR
Bench- Kevin Curtis WR

In Week 1, I play a pretty strong team that has both Randy Moss and Terrell Owens so I'm looking forward to a good challenge. And a surprising upset.

So y'all even care about this? Anybody else play fantasy sports? Any thoughts on my team?